I knew from the beginning of the project that I wanted to create something immersive and that my peak interest was based around the 5 basic senses- touch, taste, smell, sight and sound. Throughout the workshops, I created different small-scale installations on the senses and generated ideas to play with for the project, however I was still missing the linking point. The reason why I am creating this particualr project, and what about the senses it is that I am questioning.
That it when it struck me that I am intrigued because of how my senses are occassionally distorted beyond my control. I decided to explore the senses through the lens of my "spacing out" and the journey I have had to undergo to realising what my condition it.
To give this some context, I suffer from what I term as "spacing out", wher for up to a week at a tme, I am non-existant. Just a brain in a body that functions for itself, instead of for how I tell it to. You can speak, touch or look at me and I am non-responsive for the majoirty of the week, if I do respond then these are slow and distorted.
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It began when I was 17 years old, I had just had the contraceptive implant put into my arm and my hormones were completely imbalanced. It started with the occasional sentence missed, or action forgotten. But around 6 months on, it peaked. I was sat in my mum's car with my boyfriend, waiting to go into a party. They both spoke to me, waved thir hands in front of my face and even shouted my name, and I remained blank and oblivious- even my mum touching my arm didn't affect me. With this, I decided to have the implant removed as this seemed to be triggering something in my brain.
I had the procedure to remove it from my arm and the effects stopped.
I gave my body a few months to recover and return to normal and decided to try taking the pill- the Combined oral Contraceptive Pill. Within seven days my symptoms returned and I was once again unresponsive. I stopped taking the pill and hoped that that my 'spacing out' would stop.
However, in the past few years I have had this happen a further 4 times. I visited doctors time and time again to be told that I have nothing wrong with me (side note: ther was definitely something wrong with me! I wouldnt be non-responsive for a week at a time and be considered normal by anyone!!). One doctor fianlly took me seriously and said that I had a Folic Acid deficiency, therefore I began taking Folic Acid tablets which seemed to make the symptoms subside, yet I wasnt convinced that this was the conclusion to my problems otherwise all other blood tests would have shown this and it would have been picked up previously.
In Summer 2016 I worked for the NHS in a mental-health therapy centre. II discussed my symptoms with my manager in order to make them aware in case I suffered an episode whilst at work. As soon as I described my symptoms, she told me that it sounded as though I had Epilepsy in the form of absence seizures. Immediately I researched the condition and sure enough, all of my symptoms matched the criteria. However, instead of mine lasting the 15 seconds it states, mine last up to one week. Other symptoms that I have progressively encountered of the past few years without realising is my sensitivity to light and glaring (not the stereotypical flashing lights, but just light that is too bright such a computered or phone screens) as well as a sensitivity to colour.
Therefore, on the 8th May 2017, I will be attending Homerton Hospital and will be being tested for Epilepsy.